Defiant and Rebellious Marilyn

Last week Jessica told Marilyn that she had to have her cubicle cleaned up by Friday. She didn't make that deadline... and still hasn't made it. It's going to be a showdown when Jessica puts a write-up in Marilyn's personnel file. Dodo the CEO never held Marilyn accountable for anything - so she did as she pleased.

She is responsible for Accounts Payable and Safety. Less than 5% of the A/P checks have been filed since our fiscal year began on July 1. If you need to look something up - you have to go to her. There are stacks and stacks of paper on and under her desk.

Jessica thought the threat of being written up would be enough to get her to do it - but she's going to have to follow-up .... or things will continue as they are.

We'll let you know what happens.

Ebenezer Scrooge, CEO

Jessica and a co-worker are sharing the duties of interim CEO. Because of the unsafe condition of our building, Jessica is working in CEO's former office. The other co-worker works at another building, where all staff except our department has been moved.

While going through CEO's desk she came across a letter addressed to him from one of our state senators. In that letter he was thanking CEO for sharing his viewpoint of his OPPOSITION to increasing the federal minimun wage. It was addressed to him in his position here, so we're sure he wrote it as though he was doing it in an official capacity.

We wonder what the few who support him and are very unhappy now would think if they knew he had written that letter. Some of them will get a raise when the minimum wage is increased. Too bad we can't share that with them.

Elvis Has Left the Building....

Well, not Elvis.... but CEO has!

No more of his stupid remarks and comments.....

Most people are happy. Monica and Squirrel - not so much.... Monica is no longer in HR - and has been moved from her office. Squirrel is afraid he might be next - with good reason.

So, we've been busy changing passwords, securing networks, rekeying locks and all that fun stuff. Most of that work is over, so we should be resuming our posts.

Dodo Leads the Board on a Tour

CEO (the dodo bird) led our board of directors on a tour of this building yesterday. He doesn't realize that it was just another nail in the coffin, so to speak. They took pictures of our outside wall that's starting to cave in (but according to CEO, that wall is fine), a support in one room is moving and has cracked the drywall (again, CEO says it's fine), and many other things that are wrong in everyone's eyes but his.

Some tidbits from the tour:

The president of the board arrived. Marilyn asked her to sign in and started telling her it was for safety in case there was an emergency. Before she could say it, CEO pipes in... "it's so we can identify the charred bodies if the building burns."

Another board member comes in carrying a camera. CEO looks at him and says without cracking a smile, "no cameras allowed." The board member had a confused look on his face. CEO told him he could take any pictures he wanted. Board member said it was so the board could have a record.

Same board member mentioned that he had just bought 8 gb of memory cards for his trip to China. CEO asks, "are you picking up a baby?"

After the board members left Monica asked how he thought it went. He replied, "do you have any marijuana?"

Remarks like this.... to the Board of Directors.... His friend on the board - who is a prior CEO here - didn't come for the tour... not sure how CEO functioned.... with the 2 of them sharing a brain....

The board president covered their ulterior motives pretty well. She walked into CEO's office (he had been cleaning it prior to their arrival) and asked if it was always that neat. Then she said she was going to come back unexpectedly in a few weeks and see if it was always like that. When the next board member walked into his office she recounted her comments to that person. If he thinks they're coming back in a few weeks to see if his office is neat.... he has no idea he's about to get the axe before that can ever happen.....

The person who will most likely be taking over .... is the person he's been trying to decide the best way to fire.... things have a way of working out.....

We get so excited about his impending removal from office that we sometimes break into the happy dance when no one is around! It's just not happening quick enough for us.....

Sorry. You Will Have to Cross Your Legs and Hold It.

....or make a trip to a neighboring business or home.

CEO decided that our floors in the breakroom/restrooms/halls needed to be stripped and waxed. Squirrel is over the maintenance/janitorial department, he and MG2 were the ones doing the work.

Squirrel, not wanting to inconvenience himself, decided that this would be done during the day instead of the usual overnight job.

So, instead of inconviencing himself, he caused a MAJOR inconvenience for the 60+ people in this building, leaving only 2 restrooms (single toilets in each) open. We have many people with disabilities who work here and that was even more of an inconvenience to them than us because of the location. It also took us below building code standards for the ratio of people to toilets.

This department opted to go on field trips during those two days.

Cat Coins a New Phrase....

To apply to our CEO....

It's hard to soar with eagles..... when your leader is a dodo bird.....

We hope we have news to report soon - that he is no longer our CEO.... We can dream, can't we???? Then we no longer have to hear sexist remarks.... or hear questions in management meetings such as, "did you get any nookie last weekend?" .... or, when hearing an accounting explanation that is factual and true, but he doesn't like, says, "you're high" or "you're full of it".

Crossing our fingers...... (yes - there are things blowing in the wind causing us to be hopeful)

Another Management Meeting Worthy of a Lawsuit

In today's management meeting CEO asked about New Year's Eve... General consensus - it was quiet for most - very few even had anything to drink.

Monica spoke up that she had a little bit of champagne.

CEO asked her if she got any "nookie" with that.... To which she replied, "only if it was immaculate nookie."

Remembering the 70s

The CEO & I (Cat) wound up in a conversation about stand-up comedians. Wilma walked up to us and started talking about a band that was on America's Got Talent - or one of those shows. She said the main lyrics to their song was "we are a band."

Then she added, "That show reminds me of The Bong Show."

CEO & I, in unison: "The Bong Show???"

Wilma: "Yes, the one where they hit that thing."

Cat: "You mean 'The Gong Show'"

Wilma: "I thought it was 'The Bong Show'. That's the sound it made."

CEO: "You're just thinking about what you were doing when you were watching it."

Wilma: "I was only six."

Can I Bum a Cigarette?

Mrs. C had a bad morning with her mother (hallucination side effects) and just came back to work. She put her purse on her desk while she was telling us about her morning.

The CEO walks backs, looks in the purse, and digs out the cigarettes!!! The pack wasn't open so he put them back. She told him he could open them - so he reached back and pulled them back out of her purse.

It takes nerve to walk up to a woman's desk and reach into her purse for something - even if it is open! She should have slapped his hand....

I'll Cover For You, Then I'm Snitching!

Last Friday found only Marilyn and Wilma working in the department and today they were laughing about something they did, so we made them confess so we could share it with you, so here goes:

Wilma told Marilyn she was going on break - which means she was going outside to smoke so Marilyn needed to answer any phone calls. Then Wilma forgot to go outside! She lit her cigarette and was smoking while sitting at the reception desk. Marilyn hears Wilma squealing and comes out to see what is wrong. Wilma had realized what she was doing and was shouting "It's raining outside, what do I do? What do I do???" Apparently she came to her senses enough to take the cigarette outside. We're not sure if she finished it or threw it out.

Next, they see the CEO coming to the department so Marilyn grabs the Oust! air freshener she always has at her desk (another story we need to share) and starts spraying to try to cover the smell. It worked because either the CEO did not notice the smoke smell or he assumed it was coming from Wilma's clothing (or his own!)

About 15 minutes later Marilyn goes into the CEO's office laughing as she confesses the entire scenario. He must have laughed about it, too, because she was laughing as she told us.

The office went smoke-free long before Wilma became an employee so this wasn't a situation of a recent policy change and her lapsing into an old habit. It was just another random act of stupidity!