Rejection is on its Way!

We have a new maintenance guy - we will give him a name later once we see if he's more that a minor character in our blog - for now we'll just call him MG (for maintenance guy). :)

Marilyn has tried to win him over with her flirty ways. MG has high moral standards and thinks that it is disgusting for a woman to flaunt her body to try to get her way. In fact, he can't stand her. Because they are both on the safety team, they have to deal with each other constantly. MG has only been here a little over a week and has already had enough of her. He goes out of his way so that he doesn't have to deal with her. Marilyn feels that it is her "safety" duty to follow him around to make sure he's doing his job correctly.

She even went so far as having JoeJack take a look at a maintenance item. She knows that its a bigger job than MG can handle and she wants JoeJack to get the bid. MG has made it clear to everyone but Marilyn that he has no intentions of hiring JoeJack as a subcontractor. He knows who JoeJack is and does not trust him, at all. Hmmmmmm, what kind of a character is Marilyn shacked up with??

Someone told Jessica what was going on so she warned Marilyn to back off of MG. Marilyn stated that she did not care and had no intentions of backing down. We are anxiously waiting for the fireworks!! Up until now Marilyn has never met a man that she could not manipulate by showing a little flesh!!

Money Wanted - Dead or Alive

Marilyn just came into the room where the Dog & Cat are temporarily working. She told us she answered the department phone and it was Mr. C calling for Mrs. C. He had tests run this morning and they think that he may have something seriously wrong.

She quickly turns the story from Mr. C to the fact that JoeJack is doing a job for a man who had a heart attack. JoeJack is wondering how he will get his money from this man if he dies. (He's a single man and in critical condition.)

Marilyn told JoeJack that they would put a lien against the house and make the man's estate pay it. The man is still living and they are considering putting a lien against him for 2 windows!!!!!!

We understand that business is business, but come on, let's see if he gets better before we plan on getting money from his estate.

No Breaks for Marilyn

Marilyn is a non-smoker. She does not take smoke breaks throughout the day. She will often be overheard complaining that she doesn't EVER take breaks and that the smokers get breaks and she doesn't. Let's see.....in the past 20 minutes, she has taken 3 personal phone calls and ignored legitimate business concerns during that time period.

We think that counts as a break. We can't help it that she chose to use her entire break for phone calls to JoeJack and his mother. A break is a break whether its spent on personal calls or smoking. She probably spends at least 30-45 minutes per day on personal phone calls and claims that she gets no breaks during the day!!!

She has even complained when the Cat and Dog walk at lunch at the neighboring walk park. Let's see we are gone for 20-30 minutes....and we don't take other breaks during the day, we are just too busy (unless, of course, we take a few minutes to post something here) and she takes a full hour for lunch, then brings her food back to the office to eat (today - sardines & swiss cheese - talk about smelling up the office!). She says she can't eat at home because Buell (her dog) will lay down on top of her while she "naps" on the couch. We think Buell is really just code for JoeJack.

Things just do not add up with her!

Marilyn's Telephone Etiquette

Marilyn answered the department phone yesterday. Her reply when a caller asked for an employee who had left for the day:

"Ummmm. She's not here. Can I send you to her area so you can leave a voicemail?"

What happened to "I'm sorry she's unavailable, would you like her voicemail?"

Wilma Has Another Run-in with the Keystone Cops

Over the weekend Wilma had another run-in with the Keystone cops. She proudly recounted the story for the enjoyment of her co-workers.

It seems that she and Fred (on again/off again ex) were at it again. Wilma was quite drunk and fighting with Fred again. Fred called the cops (again) to her house. The situation difussed before any arrests were made this time.

Bam-Bam's (their son) counselor has told Wilma if she doesn't stop involving herself with Fred that she is in danger of losing Bam-Bam. Hasn't stopped her yet! She tells us that "they won't find out"..... Does she think that Bam-Bam is not going to say something about all the times he sees his Dad and the fights between his parents? Fred is supposed to pick-up Bam-Bam and take him to and from school. He hasn't done that or paid child support for months - but Wilma will take him out to dinner.

Wilma told us that she wanted to call the cop who responded to the call. When asked why, she responded that she was so drunk she couldn't remember what she said to him. She wanted to call him to see if she said anything stupid or if she propositioned him. She was told that was a bad idea so she let it drop......

Makes the whole taco drive-thru incident a little funnier doesn't it??

Marilyn is the Flashee Instead of the Flasher

On her way back from lunch today, at the corner of the "walk park", Marilyn was flashed .... by a woman. She called the cops and told them, "the woman lifted her top up to her neck and showed her belly and her boobs." The dispatch person asked if the woman was wearing a bra - to which Marilyn replied, "yes." There's nothing they can do about it.

We don't think seeing someone's bra counts as being flashed. After all, we see Marilyn's panties quite often as noted in previous posts. According to her definition of "flash" we get flashed all the time. Should we call the cops?

Jessica Takes a Walk on the Wild Side

Jessica said in a supervisors' meeting that we need a better strip club in our area of town. She thinks that they "could really make a lot of money if they put one in close to one of the factories." She says that the one that's there is a real dive and could use a face-lift.

Then she stopped speaking, looked very embarassed that she had even brought up the subject........ hmmm..... makes you wonder what's going on when she frequently leaves and changes her clothes.........

Yes, she said this at the end of a supervisors' meeting of 2 men and 5 women - and we are not in any facet of the entertainment business - adult or otherwise.

Calling the Fashion Police

Jessica is very upset today because she and Marilyn are wearing the same top. We are very shocked that Jessica has not gone home to change her shirt yet, especially considering how often she changes for no apparent reason.

It's a nice top. We bet that Jessica won't wear it again. It's a crime around here to own identical clothing.

Wilma, the Arrest Prequel

As promised here is more info on Wilma's frequent run-ins with the Keystone Cops:

Wilma's ex (not the current on again/off again ex) had a restraining order against her. Wilma went to the tanning salon (located within the range forbidden by the restraining order) with a friend. The ex saw her vehicle and called the cops on her for violating the restraining order.

Wilma was arrested and taken in for booking. During this ordeal, Wilma was wearing sweatpants and had unknowingly started her monthly cycle. As she was not prepared for a visit from "Aunt Flo," she was in a very bad state. How embarrassing! Because she was under arrest, she could not go to her house to change her clothes and get the necessary feminine products. She had to wait until she got through booking to take care of her "problem."

The charges were dropped later that afternoon after it was verified that she was visiting the tanning salon and not harassing her ex.

The other memorable incident involves her on again/off again ex. They were having a loud domestic dispute at their home. Neighbors called the police. When the police arrived, they finally settled down and were told that if one of them left the area no arrest would be made. True to form, they were both stubborn and refused to leave. She because "it's my house!" He because "my stuff is here!" They were both hauled off to jail for disorderly conduct. These charges were also dropped.

Wilma seems to have the worst luck with law enforcement. She has been arrested 3 times (we can't remember the details of the 3rd time) with no convictions, and has had the police called on her MANY times. The last time was at the fast food restaurant recounted for you last week. Normal, sane people would not have been so belligerent that the police would have been called on them at a fast food restaurant. Is it worth risking arrest for 6 tacos????

I think we've all been wronged by a fast food worker, but have we ever had the cops called on us? Isn't there a point where you just give up and take it up with someone who can actually resolve the problem at a later time?

Wilma has a temper to match that fiery red hair!

Fork Truck Drivin' Mama

A co-worker's brother died last week. Marilyn expressed her condolences when the co-worker came by our office Thursday. The co-worker thanked her and said a client had come to the funeral and he told her that our facilities manager was leaving.

True to form, Marilyn turned the conversation to the facilities manager giving her fork truck driving lessons.

Marilyn is on our safety team and assists with the certification for our fork truck drivers but had never driven one herself.

The day after your brother's funeral would you really want to listen to someone talking about learning to drive a fork truck?

Take a Load Off

Monica was having "random bathroom thoughts" (her words) while in the restroom. She was in a stall while Wilma was "warshing" her hands. All of a sudden, Wilma heard Monica exclaim "I know what to do!" She was having an insurance problem before she went to the restroom and figured out a solution to her problem while visiting the facilities. Brings a new meaning to "take a load off" doesn't it?

Wilma & Monica came out of the restroom together.....laughing.....and re-told the story to anyone around that would listen. I, of course, listened so as to post this for your viewing pleasure.....

The Dog

Dew It To It

Monica and "The Dog" were having a conversation about caffienated drinks. The Dog told her to drink Mountain Dew if she needed something with more caffiene. Marilyn spoke up and said "I can'ten drink Mountain Dew because it tears up my stomach because it has worse caffeine, doesn't it?"

Here's the stupidity count:

1. It was a conversation between Monica and The Dog. Marilyn, as usual, has to bring herself into the conversation. me-me-me-me-me

2. There's that "can'ten" word again. Where did she come up with that one?

3. We didn't know that there are different grades of caffiene. Is one grade worse than another?

Marilyn Gets the Warm Fuzzies

Marilyn must love furry things. She has a leather jacket with a fox fur collar that she wears most days whether or not the weather demands it. She also "pets" it.

On the rare days she doesn't wear it, she wears fleece jacket with a fur-like collar.

Wilma and the Keystone Cops

Last night Wilma took a friend through a local Mexican fast food drive-thru. When they arrived at her friend's home they discovered they had been given the wrong order and had no food for her friend's child. They went back to the drive-thru window to get the missing food. The employee told her that they had given her the correct order and had not shorted her 6 tacos.

Wilma told them (loudly) she was not leaving until she got her food. When she pulled up there had been no one at the drive-thru, however, the line grew to 5 cars. They still refused to give her the 6 tacos and she told them that she worked at a large company, was the lunch runner, and she would not be coming back if she didn't get her food.

Wilma got out of her car and told the person behind her that she wasn't leaving until she got her food. The driver of that car was wearing a uniform from another fast food restaurant and agreed with Wilma. (sidenote - That driver was working the drive-thru at the other restaurant when Wilma stopped for breakfast this morning. We would bet she made sure Wilma's order was correct!)

A female employee pointed out a male employee implying to Wilma that he was the manager. He asked her to pull up and come inside. Wilma told him that she was tired, her legs hurt, she got her food at the drive-thru, so that's where's she's picking up her missing food. He told her that he had personally bagged her food, handed it to her, and the order was correct. Wilma told him he did not hand her the food that the female did. Wilma's side of the conversation was not quiet.

The employees called the cops, who told Wilma that she had to leave the premises because she was she was holding up the other customers. At that point she left to avoid getting arrested (again - more on those later).

The situation has been resolved. Wilma called the real manager this morning who apologized telling her that the customer is always right and that they will replace the entire order. She also told Wilma that there was no manager on duty last night - we're thinking Wilma has stirred something up now!

Mrs. C Chimes in on the Clinton Debacle

Mrs. C does not believe Hillary because she's known her for years. She knows for a fact that Hillary had an affair with Clinton while he was still married to previous wife. He must have been having relationships with Hillary and Monica at or near the same time.

She thinks Monica was being sneaky about talking to Clinton and believes Monica's version of events.

This somehow makes sense as Clinton came clean about his prior relationship with Monica and denies a current one that goes further than being just friends.

Fashion Princess Jessica

Jessica has been coming and going quite a bit lately. A couple of times a week she will come back to work wearing different clothes and a different hairstyle. One day she left wearing white and came back wearing red. Hard not to notice that difference.

We don't know why she does this or what she's doing. We've just noticed that it's not an isolated incident. We only report what we see and hear - and add the occasional commentary.

Maybe Nick is coming home from work during the day.

Marilyn's "Divorce Degree" in Action

Background on the "divorce degree": http://random-acts-of-stupidity.blogspot.com/2006/03/is-that-bachelors-masters-or-phd.html

A co-worker, Hillary, was having marital problems. She believed that her husband, Clinton (not a co-worker), was having an affair with our co-worker, Monica, who happened to be his long time friend. She confided in Marilyn who encouraged her to tell EVERYONE at work about the alleged indiscretion, which Hillary did - including Monica’s boss. Hillary even put the definition of adultery in Monica's work mailbox.

The next thing that Marilyn recommended was for Hillary to tap her phone. Sure enough, Monica and Clinton were having regular morning conversations. Hillary was beside herself and turned to her friend Marilyn who then recommended that she go to her (Marilyn’s) divorce attorney.

In the meantime, Clinton found the recording device which made matters worse. Marilyn is pushing Hillary to leave Clinton. Hillary still loves Clinton and wants to work things out. Marilyn keeps encouraging Hillary to get a divorce and shuns Monica.

As it turns out, Clinton came clean about his relationship with Monica. He had an "adult" relationship with her during his previous marriage, but claims that NOTHING has happened during his marriage to Hillary.

Much to Marilyn's dismay, Hillary and Clinton are working out their problems. Hillary and Marilyn still shun Monica at work. Marilyn doesn't believe Clinton and thinks the marriage is doomed for failure. Only time will tell....

Out of the Mouth of "I Think I'm a Babe"

Marilyn was talking about security codes this afternoon and told Monica that "After I leave you shouldn't gaven out my number to anybody because it's a master code."

Not long after she was looking at a receipt from a store and said the store is "doing a foo-paw. They're selling toilet paper way cheap. I'm going to go back and buy more every day until they figure out they have the price wrong."

She had just left for the day when I heard someone knocking on the door. She's standing there with someone who wants to apply for a job. She said he "wanted to work here after he saw US two walking out." I'm not sure who else was walking out, but I'm sure he doesn't want a job because he saw two of our employees.

Gaven? Foo-paw? Just spelling them the way she's pronouncing them!